Clara's Birth Story: Vinnie's Perspective

 I had breakfast with a friend at a nearby Mexican restaurant the morning before Clara came. He asked me how I was doing emotionally with everything, and I told him I kind of felt like it was business-as-usual. I wasn’t saying that I wasn’t excited, because I was, but we had gotten to the point, now almost a week past Kimberly’s due date, where we felt beyond ready. I felt like we were in this limbo in-between a chapter about to close and the next and we were really ready to turn the page.

             

That’s a common question you get when your expecting parents, “Are you ready?” I haven’t known, and still don’t, where to file that question. What does ready look like? I found it similar to when we were engaged and got the same question. There just comes a point where for all the books you read, counsel you’ve received, etc. you now just need to walk through it.

            

 Each day after October 25^th, Kimberly’s due date, I asked the Lord to bring Clara into the world. Looking back, I felt such peace and power to be able to ask God for something so beyond my control and to know that he heard me. Some of it was because I wanted to see Clara, but also because I didn’t want Kimberly to be in pain and discomfort anymore. This whole process, the pregnancy, the labor, it has all allowed me to see what a beautiful, strong, godly woman the Lord has entrusted me with. I’m honored to call her my wife.

             

After breakfast Kimberly and I went to our scheduled midwife visit. They wanted to check Clara’s vitals and heartbeat for about 20 minutes. It was important for them to see her heart rate accelerate and then return to normal. They had trouble doing that, and so asked me to talk to her.

             

Talking to Clara while she was in Kimberly’s womb have been some of my most treasured moments during the pregnancy. At different points throughout the day I would walk over to Kimberly and while putting one hand on her stomach, start speaking in an affectionate tone reserved only for her. The sweetest part was watching her react by moving around.

             

Talking to Clara, watching her on the sonograms, everything, had me truly delighting in her. I cared so much for this little baby that I had never seen, nor had done anything for me. I’ve been reminded now on the other side of it all, as she sleeps in her swing, and I stand there watching and smiling at her, how much my Heavenly Father does the same for me because of Jesus.

             

Everything checked out and we left the birthing center and headed home. We got a call a few hours later that after running some tests they found that Kimberly’s water had broken. We were thrilled. This meant that they were going to induce anywhere between 24-36 hours. For all our anticipation there was now a guarantee of when we would see Clara’s face. It’s funny because this flipped a switch for me. I’ve always liked a clean, organized house, but this set me blazing through the house trying to prepare every little thing for her arrival. Cleaning this, putting this away, sweeping.

             

Later that night the contractions started accelerating fairly quickly. We had this picture that we kept hearing all moms in labor get to where it’s too painful to stand and talk on the phone. At first those contractions were far from that picture, but then slowly but surely they got harder and harder. We decided it was time to call Ashre, our birthing assistant.

              

She was fantastic. She calmly walked me things we could do to help Kimberly continue deeper into the hard contractions. Kimberly lied on the couch and Ashre would massage her lower back, where a lot of the pain was coming, and I would play with her hair and kiss her forehead. Ashre suggested putting on some soft music and I put on some Christmas albums that I know she would love.

             

Kimberly hit a tipping point after vomiting a few times, which was healthy and meant the labor was moving along, that it was time to go. We loaded up the car and I drove to the birthing center with Kimberly breathing deeply every few seconds in the passenger seat. I was so tempted to drive fast, because that’s what they do in the movies, but I knew we would be fine. Maybe next time…

             

We got to the center around 11:20PM and they were shocked to see that Kimberly was extremely far along in labor. She was at a 9. So they suggested getting her into the hot tub to help with the contractions that at this point were now excruciating.

             

The tub had handles for Kimberly to rest her feet like pedals, and grips for each hand on the side of the tub. Soon after, in the phase called transition, she said repeatedly, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it.” This was hard for me to hear because I knew that she could do it, but I wanted to care for her well. Thankful to the Lord that phase didn’t last long, and from our birthing classes we knew that.

             

The transition cleared and the pushing started. I was on my knees by Kimberly’s face, switching between holding her arm and hand for what felt like minutes, but in reality was a couple hours. Kimberly was locked in and listening to the coaching of the midwife, her assistant, me, and Ashre.

            

 There was a moment where I wanted to pray and I felt a hesitation because I didn’t know if everyone in the room was a Christian. It probably was the Spirit that was like “That’s ridiculous!”  My approval of man almost got in the way of me asking the Lord for strength for my sweethearts. I prayed at two separate times that the Lord would fill her body with his Spirit and with all she needs.

            

 Kimberly pushed for what felt like forever and soon I began to see Clara’s black hair, and I was like taken aback. It was happening, I thought. She’s coming. She’s finally coming. For all Kimberly’s pushing the end seemed the longest. I knew Kimberly was giving everything and more as she would rest her back in between contractions on the back of the tub.

             

There was this moment though that I’ll never forget. We kept encouraging Kimberly, and I wanted her to know how proud of her we were. In this almost supernatural moment, after pushing for who knows how long, Kimberly straightens her back and pushes like nothing she had done up to that point. It must have been the Lord.

             

And then in what seemed like a few seconds, Clara emerges and is put on Kimberly’s chest. She lets out a cry to the world that she’s here, looks at Kimberly, and rests back down. “She’s here, Sweetie! She’s here!” I said. Kimberly and I look at each other like we had just conquered a mountain together. For all the sleepless nights, discomfort, birthing classes, Clara Joy Casanova was now here.

             

Anticipating Clara’s arrival has stirred my affections all the more to meditate on how much I anticipate the Lord’s return. I was reading Jesus’ last words to the disciples before his crucifixion in John a couple days before Clara’s birth:

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” John 16:21-22

Immediately after Clara’s arrival, Kimberly was a new person. She was in the moment anymore where the anguish was all she could feel. The joy that Clara had come into the world surpassed the anguish she felt.

             

All of this has brought about an incredible sense of responsibility and over the days since her birth the reality of my own limitations. How desperately I need the same Spirit that filled and empowered Kimberly to moment-by-moment fill me to love the Lord, love Kimberly, and love Clara. I’m honored and humbled by this calling.