Clara's Birth Story: Vinnie's Perspective

 I had breakfast with a friend at a nearby Mexican restaurant the morning before Clara came. He asked me how I was doing emotionally with everything, and I told him I kind of felt like it was business-as-usual. I wasn’t saying that I wasn’t excited, because I was, but we had gotten to the point, now almost a week past Kimberly’s due date, where we felt beyond ready. I felt like we were in this limbo in-between a chapter about to close and the next and we were really ready to turn the page.

             

That’s a common question you get when your expecting parents, “Are you ready?” I haven’t known, and still don’t, where to file that question. What does ready look like? I found it similar to when we were engaged and got the same question. There just comes a point where for all the books you read, counsel you’ve received, etc. you now just need to walk through it.

            

 Each day after October 25^th, Kimberly’s due date, I asked the Lord to bring Clara into the world. Looking back, I felt such peace and power to be able to ask God for something so beyond my control and to know that he heard me. Some of it was because I wanted to see Clara, but also because I didn’t want Kimberly to be in pain and discomfort anymore. This whole process, the pregnancy, the labor, it has all allowed me to see what a beautiful, strong, godly woman the Lord has entrusted me with. I’m honored to call her my wife.

             

After breakfast Kimberly and I went to our scheduled midwife visit. They wanted to check Clara’s vitals and heartbeat for about 20 minutes. It was important for them to see her heart rate accelerate and then return to normal. They had trouble doing that, and so asked me to talk to her.

             

Talking to Clara while she was in Kimberly’s womb have been some of my most treasured moments during the pregnancy. At different points throughout the day I would walk over to Kimberly and while putting one hand on her stomach, start speaking in an affectionate tone reserved only for her. The sweetest part was watching her react by moving around.

             

Talking to Clara, watching her on the sonograms, everything, had me truly delighting in her. I cared so much for this little baby that I had never seen, nor had done anything for me. I’ve been reminded now on the other side of it all, as she sleeps in her swing, and I stand there watching and smiling at her, how much my Heavenly Father does the same for me because of Jesus.

             

Everything checked out and we left the birthing center and headed home. We got a call a few hours later that after running some tests they found that Kimberly’s water had broken. We were thrilled. This meant that they were going to induce anywhere between 24-36 hours. For all our anticipation there was now a guarantee of when we would see Clara’s face. It’s funny because this flipped a switch for me. I’ve always liked a clean, organized house, but this set me blazing through the house trying to prepare every little thing for her arrival. Cleaning this, putting this away, sweeping.

             

Later that night the contractions started accelerating fairly quickly. We had this picture that we kept hearing all moms in labor get to where it’s too painful to stand and talk on the phone. At first those contractions were far from that picture, but then slowly but surely they got harder and harder. We decided it was time to call Ashre, our birthing assistant.

              

She was fantastic. She calmly walked me things we could do to help Kimberly continue deeper into the hard contractions. Kimberly lied on the couch and Ashre would massage her lower back, where a lot of the pain was coming, and I would play with her hair and kiss her forehead. Ashre suggested putting on some soft music and I put on some Christmas albums that I know she would love.

             

Kimberly hit a tipping point after vomiting a few times, which was healthy and meant the labor was moving along, that it was time to go. We loaded up the car and I drove to the birthing center with Kimberly breathing deeply every few seconds in the passenger seat. I was so tempted to drive fast, because that’s what they do in the movies, but I knew we would be fine. Maybe next time…

             

We got to the center around 11:20PM and they were shocked to see that Kimberly was extremely far along in labor. She was at a 9. So they suggested getting her into the hot tub to help with the contractions that at this point were now excruciating.

             

The tub had handles for Kimberly to rest her feet like pedals, and grips for each hand on the side of the tub. Soon after, in the phase called transition, she said repeatedly, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it.” This was hard for me to hear because I knew that she could do it, but I wanted to care for her well. Thankful to the Lord that phase didn’t last long, and from our birthing classes we knew that.

             

The transition cleared and the pushing started. I was on my knees by Kimberly’s face, switching between holding her arm and hand for what felt like minutes, but in reality was a couple hours. Kimberly was locked in and listening to the coaching of the midwife, her assistant, me, and Ashre.

            

 There was a moment where I wanted to pray and I felt a hesitation because I didn’t know if everyone in the room was a Christian. It probably was the Spirit that was like “That’s ridiculous!”  My approval of man almost got in the way of me asking the Lord for strength for my sweethearts. I prayed at two separate times that the Lord would fill her body with his Spirit and with all she needs.

            

 Kimberly pushed for what felt like forever and soon I began to see Clara’s black hair, and I was like taken aback. It was happening, I thought. She’s coming. She’s finally coming. For all Kimberly’s pushing the end seemed the longest. I knew Kimberly was giving everything and more as she would rest her back in between contractions on the back of the tub.

             

There was this moment though that I’ll never forget. We kept encouraging Kimberly, and I wanted her to know how proud of her we were. In this almost supernatural moment, after pushing for who knows how long, Kimberly straightens her back and pushes like nothing she had done up to that point. It must have been the Lord.

             

And then in what seemed like a few seconds, Clara emerges and is put on Kimberly’s chest. She lets out a cry to the world that she’s here, looks at Kimberly, and rests back down. “She’s here, Sweetie! She’s here!” I said. Kimberly and I look at each other like we had just conquered a mountain together. For all the sleepless nights, discomfort, birthing classes, Clara Joy Casanova was now here.

             

Anticipating Clara’s arrival has stirred my affections all the more to meditate on how much I anticipate the Lord’s return. I was reading Jesus’ last words to the disciples before his crucifixion in John a couple days before Clara’s birth:

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” John 16:21-22

Immediately after Clara’s arrival, Kimberly was a new person. She was in the moment anymore where the anguish was all she could feel. The joy that Clara had come into the world surpassed the anguish she felt.

             

All of this has brought about an incredible sense of responsibility and over the days since her birth the reality of my own limitations. How desperately I need the same Spirit that filled and empowered Kimberly to moment-by-moment fill me to love the Lord, love Kimberly, and love Clara. I’m honored and humbled by this calling.

Clara's Birth Story

This is a long post, but for those who are interested I wrote out Clara's birth story from my perspective. Hopefully we can get Vinnie's perspective written down soon. Enjoy!

Since finding out we were pregnant on March 1, 2013 I was really hoping we wouldn’t have a Halloween baby. Who would want to have to have a costume party every single birthday?? All we knew is the due date was October 25 and first babies usually come late. But, as time went on we started to not care when she came, we just wanted her to be here, in our arms. October 25 came and went. The next day came and it went. I started having minor contractions that got worse and worse each day. With every day that passed I couldn’t help my thoughts go from, “Maybe today is the day!!” to “This baby is going to be in my womb forever.”

So, here we are on October 31. Halloween. My contractions are becoming more regular and not going away like they had been the past few days. That day I had an appointment at the birthing center so off we went. We got to hear Baby Girl’s heartbeat for 30 minutes, it would accelerate every time she heard her Daddy’s voice-we knew she was going to be a Daddy’s girl from day one. The midwife did an exam on me and told me I’m dilated to almost a 3. She also said she saw some clear fluid so she tested it to see if my bags of water were leaking. We left the birthing center thinking we still had a few more days until we would meet our baby. We felt discouraged, I felt uncomfortable, almost miserable.

As we were eating lunch after the appointment we get a call from the midwife on call that night saying, “Kimberly, after testing that fluid we found it was in fact amniotic fluid…your bags of water have broken. Now, we have 24-36 hours to get you into active labor.” I hung up the phone, looked at Vinnie with a smile and said, “This is it, it’s really happening today.”

As Halloween went on, so did my contractions. I rode each contraction like it was a wave, it started in my back, wrapped around to the front, and throbbed for 45 seconds. Then, I waited for the next wave to crash. I walked around the house, baked some frozen cookie dough, got on the exercise ball, and sat on the couch…nothing was relieving the pain, it was growing more and more intense. At about 6pm we hear a knock at the door, “TRICK OR TREAT!” We ignored the sweet kids and quickly turned off the porch lights. We called our doula (birth assistant), Ashre and told her she should come over.

At this point all I could think is, “This is it. We’re meeting our baby today. On Halloween. We could have a Halloween baby after all.”

I lost all sense of time, I was so focused on riding each wave. At one point our midwife called to check in and see how things were progressing. By that point I was in a lot of pain but could still listen and talk coherently. Vinnie hands me the phone and I hear the midwife say, “Well, how are things?” I start my sentence….”Oh, it’s definitely progressing but I’m still able to ta….” OW! This is the biggest contraction yet! I hand the phone back to Vinnie midsentence so I can ride through this giant wave. From that point on things progressed quickly.

All I could focus on was the wave. As I topped the crest of the wave I had to force my mind to think about the fact that with each wave I’m getting closer to landing on shore and meeting our sweet daughter. I hear Vinnie and my doula tell me over and over, “You can do this. Do it for your daughter. You’re doing great.” My doula suggested I get up and try walking around to see how I feel. I get up and within taking 2 steps I almost collapse due to the pain. Then I knew, it was time. We needed to get to the birthing center. This baby is coming soon.

I hear some hustle and bustle from Vinnie as he packs the car with our “go-bag”. My doula slips some PJ pants and socks on me and out the door we went. I don’t remember the car ride. I probably just had my eyes closed the whole time as I focused on the fact that we were meeting our daughter soon.

We get to the birthing center and the midwife met us at the door. She rushed me into the room and had me lay down. Five seconds later I hear, “Oh wow! You’re at a 9! This baby is coming soon!!” I was so relieved that all of this work, all of this swimming that felt like I was going against the tide wasn’t useless. My body was working so hard to get this baby out into the world.

I got in the bathtub because it was supposed to relieve the pain. As soon as I got in the water I started feeling the urge to push. No one told me to push, my body just desperately wanted to push. The midwife said, “You want to push? OK! PUSH!!” It was an amazing feeling to finally not try to just go with the wave but really ride it. I was able to swim with the wave through pushing.

As our daughter started descending I hear the midwife say, “Look, Dad! You can see her head! Her hair is black!” Then I hear Vinnie with a choked up voice say, “I see her, baby! I see our daughter! Her hair is black!!”

The midwife added, “Well, well…your water hadn’t broken after all! She’s still in her bags of water. We need to break your water so that she can come out.” All I asked was, “Will it make this go by faster?” After getting a “yes” I agreed and my water was broken.

That was all the motivation I needed. I needed to see this girl for myself. The next contraction came and I determined in my mind that this was it. With this wave we will land and I will meet our daughter. I sit up in the tub and push, push, push. The room erupted with yells, “PUSH! COME ON! PUSH! GIVE ME MORE! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!” With one push I felt her head crown. With the next push she came out, the midwife grabbed her and brought her right to my chest.

I looked down and there she was. Our daughter. She looked up at me, made eye contact, laid her head on my chest and started to cry. It was the sweetest sound in the world. I looked at Vinnie and saw the amazement, shock, excitement, and pure joy in his eyes. Our daughter, Clara Joy was born into the world at 1:25am on November 1, 2013.