Vince's Birth Story: Mother's Perspective

For those who are interested in hearing how Vincent (Vince) Louis Casanova Jr. came into the world, here's his birth story from my perspective. Vinnie's will be posted soon.

We found out in late November that we were pregnant and due July 25. We were through-the-roof excited. There was also a cloud of worry that I had this whole pregnancy because we had lost a baby about a year and a half prior to finding out about this pregnancy. The Lord continued to show up and remind me that each day Vince was in my womb was another day I got to spend with him. It was a weird feeling to be so excited about bringing another child into the world and at the same time feeling so apprehensive to celebrate because of the loss we had experienced. 

The small group at my church prayed over us continually and also encouraged me to think of ways to intentionally choose celebration and joy with this baby over worry and anxiety. With that encouragement, we decided to have a gender reveal party. While we were planning it I said, "I don't know why we're having this...I know it's a girl so it won't be a very big surprise!" Boy, was I wrong! We opened a box and out came BLUE balloons! Vinnie and I were floored to learn we were having a sweet baby boy!

It was getting easier and easier to choose joy and celebration with this pregnancy as July 25 came closer and closer. I was expecting him to come early or right on time so when July 25 came and went I started to feel more and more "over it" with being pregnant. There were 3 nights after July 25 that I was having consistent, mild contractions when I went to bed. I would fall asleep thinking, "Get some rest, this is it. We're having this baby today!" and then I would wake up the next morning with no contractions and a new day ahead of me. 

I was having a really hard time, emotionally (and physically), with each day that passed without meeting our baby boy. Eleven days after July 25, I was scheduled to have an ultrasound to check on baby and make sure he had enough of what he needed to wait it out a few days longer. So, Vinnie and I head to the ultrasound appointment. There he was, sweet baby boy just hanging out and enjoying himself in the womb! The doctor said, "He looks really comfortable in there and has plenty of what he needs to ride this out for a few more days. I wish I could tell you he's coming today but I don't think that's the case." I wanted to cry but I was also relieved to know that he and I were healthy and strong. 

We went home, ate some lunch, took a nap and I went to the birthing center to talk about our game plan. They gave me some herb concoction to take that was supposed to help encourage labor. Honestly, I didn't think it would work but paid the $20 to take the bottle home in the small case it could help. After taking 3 doses of the herbs,  I started having cramps during Clara's bedtime routine but didn't think anything of it given what the doctor said and my previous 3 false starts. 

Clara went to bed and around 7pm I was having consistent, but mild contractions. I sent a text to close friends and said, "Could you say a quick prayer? I'm having minor contractions. Pray this is it and that I go into labor!" 

I went to bed around 8:45pm thinking I would wake up the next morning still pregnant. But, around 10pm I couldn't sleep through contractions anymore. They had picked up and I started using breathing exercises. For the next hour I would breathe through contractions and in between think, "That's it. I'm not in labor, that was the last contraction." My mind had just become so used to not being in labor that it didn't really dawn on me that I was in fact in labor! I woke Vinnie up around 11:30pm with my heavier breathing and he immediately got out of bed, got the living room set up with dim lighting, music, water, birthing ball, diffuser going with my favorite smells. He led me to the living room and I gave Vinnie my phone to start timing my contractions. To Vinnie's surprise my contractions were about 3 minutes apart! He told me he wanted to call the birthing center to let them know and I said, "No, I don't think this is it. Give it more time, I think they'll go away." Vinnie let me have 2 more contractions and then he made the call. The midwife on call told us to come in immediately. Vinnie called my Mom to come over to be with Clara and texted our best friend, Tricia, who would be our "doula" to meet us at the birthing center.

We get to the birthing center around 12:45am and I'm already feeling extremely tired and exhausted. I just wanted to go to sleep but there was no way I could with the amount of pain I was feeling. They filled up the tub soon after I got there and that's where I stayed. The contractions picked up in intensity almost the minute I got into the tub. Vinnie, Tricia, and the midwife continued to say things like, "You are strong. You can do this. Think 'down down down' when you are in the contraction." I loved it. They really empowered me and made me believe I can do this. At one point, Tricia looked me in the eye and said, "Hey, you can do this. Your body was made to do this. This pain is not bigger than you." Wow, I needed those words so desperately. 

At one point, I needed to switch positions because my back was in so much pain. I leaned forward and at that moment felt like I wanted to push. I said quietly, "I want to push." The midwife said, "OK!" 

Let's stop right here so I can explain something: this is significant because up until this point I still wasn't 100% convinced I was in labor. I know, it sounds illogical but I didn't really believe it until that point! The midwife never checked to see if I was dilated from the moment I got there until this point. I thought that was because she knew I was only at a 5 or 6 and she didn't want to discourage me. So, imagine my surprise when I said I wanted to push and they midwife said, "OK!" It felt like I jumped over what I thought would be several hours of labor in one moment! It was awesome. 

After being "OK"ed to push, I said, "What do I need to do?" and they said, "Whatever you need to do to start pushing." I wanted to be leaning back so I just started falling straight back! Vinnie and Tricia had to leap over to catch me! Later Vinnie said he was pretty certain I was about to go under water but I didn't. Thanks, Tricia and Vinnie for catching me in my unforeseen trust fall! 

I was leaning back and on came my next contraction. I pushed, pushed, pushed and could feel his head! The midwife said, "In this next contraction you could meet your baby." I pushed, pushed, pushed through my next contraction and out he came!! Vince was born at 3:43am on August 6, 2016 in his bags of water after only 5 minutes of pushing. "Praise Jesus!" was all I could say over and over. 

I'm still amazed at how different and intense this labor was. God's handprints were all over this pregnancy and delivery. I am so proud of Vince and proud to be his Mommy. Praise Jesus for this beautiful life! I couldn't have done it without the team of people God put around us to bring Vince into the world. 

Clara's Birth Story: Vinnie's Perspective

 I had breakfast with a friend at a nearby Mexican restaurant the morning before Clara came. He asked me how I was doing emotionally with everything, and I told him I kind of felt like it was business-as-usual. I wasn’t saying that I wasn’t excited, because I was, but we had gotten to the point, now almost a week past Kimberly’s due date, where we felt beyond ready. I felt like we were in this limbo in-between a chapter about to close and the next and we were really ready to turn the page.

             

That’s a common question you get when your expecting parents, “Are you ready?” I haven’t known, and still don’t, where to file that question. What does ready look like? I found it similar to when we were engaged and got the same question. There just comes a point where for all the books you read, counsel you’ve received, etc. you now just need to walk through it.

            

 Each day after October 25^th, Kimberly’s due date, I asked the Lord to bring Clara into the world. Looking back, I felt such peace and power to be able to ask God for something so beyond my control and to know that he heard me. Some of it was because I wanted to see Clara, but also because I didn’t want Kimberly to be in pain and discomfort anymore. This whole process, the pregnancy, the labor, it has all allowed me to see what a beautiful, strong, godly woman the Lord has entrusted me with. I’m honored to call her my wife.

             

After breakfast Kimberly and I went to our scheduled midwife visit. They wanted to check Clara’s vitals and heartbeat for about 20 minutes. It was important for them to see her heart rate accelerate and then return to normal. They had trouble doing that, and so asked me to talk to her.

             

Talking to Clara while she was in Kimberly’s womb have been some of my most treasured moments during the pregnancy. At different points throughout the day I would walk over to Kimberly and while putting one hand on her stomach, start speaking in an affectionate tone reserved only for her. The sweetest part was watching her react by moving around.

             

Talking to Clara, watching her on the sonograms, everything, had me truly delighting in her. I cared so much for this little baby that I had never seen, nor had done anything for me. I’ve been reminded now on the other side of it all, as she sleeps in her swing, and I stand there watching and smiling at her, how much my Heavenly Father does the same for me because of Jesus.

             

Everything checked out and we left the birthing center and headed home. We got a call a few hours later that after running some tests they found that Kimberly’s water had broken. We were thrilled. This meant that they were going to induce anywhere between 24-36 hours. For all our anticipation there was now a guarantee of when we would see Clara’s face. It’s funny because this flipped a switch for me. I’ve always liked a clean, organized house, but this set me blazing through the house trying to prepare every little thing for her arrival. Cleaning this, putting this away, sweeping.

             

Later that night the contractions started accelerating fairly quickly. We had this picture that we kept hearing all moms in labor get to where it’s too painful to stand and talk on the phone. At first those contractions were far from that picture, but then slowly but surely they got harder and harder. We decided it was time to call Ashre, our birthing assistant.

              

She was fantastic. She calmly walked me things we could do to help Kimberly continue deeper into the hard contractions. Kimberly lied on the couch and Ashre would massage her lower back, where a lot of the pain was coming, and I would play with her hair and kiss her forehead. Ashre suggested putting on some soft music and I put on some Christmas albums that I know she would love.

             

Kimberly hit a tipping point after vomiting a few times, which was healthy and meant the labor was moving along, that it was time to go. We loaded up the car and I drove to the birthing center with Kimberly breathing deeply every few seconds in the passenger seat. I was so tempted to drive fast, because that’s what they do in the movies, but I knew we would be fine. Maybe next time…

             

We got to the center around 11:20PM and they were shocked to see that Kimberly was extremely far along in labor. She was at a 9. So they suggested getting her into the hot tub to help with the contractions that at this point were now excruciating.

             

The tub had handles for Kimberly to rest her feet like pedals, and grips for each hand on the side of the tub. Soon after, in the phase called transition, she said repeatedly, “I can’t do it. I can’t do it.” This was hard for me to hear because I knew that she could do it, but I wanted to care for her well. Thankful to the Lord that phase didn’t last long, and from our birthing classes we knew that.

             

The transition cleared and the pushing started. I was on my knees by Kimberly’s face, switching between holding her arm and hand for what felt like minutes, but in reality was a couple hours. Kimberly was locked in and listening to the coaching of the midwife, her assistant, me, and Ashre.

            

 There was a moment where I wanted to pray and I felt a hesitation because I didn’t know if everyone in the room was a Christian. It probably was the Spirit that was like “That’s ridiculous!”  My approval of man almost got in the way of me asking the Lord for strength for my sweethearts. I prayed at two separate times that the Lord would fill her body with his Spirit and with all she needs.

            

 Kimberly pushed for what felt like forever and soon I began to see Clara’s black hair, and I was like taken aback. It was happening, I thought. She’s coming. She’s finally coming. For all Kimberly’s pushing the end seemed the longest. I knew Kimberly was giving everything and more as she would rest her back in between contractions on the back of the tub.

             

There was this moment though that I’ll never forget. We kept encouraging Kimberly, and I wanted her to know how proud of her we were. In this almost supernatural moment, after pushing for who knows how long, Kimberly straightens her back and pushes like nothing she had done up to that point. It must have been the Lord.

             

And then in what seemed like a few seconds, Clara emerges and is put on Kimberly’s chest. She lets out a cry to the world that she’s here, looks at Kimberly, and rests back down. “She’s here, Sweetie! She’s here!” I said. Kimberly and I look at each other like we had just conquered a mountain together. For all the sleepless nights, discomfort, birthing classes, Clara Joy Casanova was now here.

             

Anticipating Clara’s arrival has stirred my affections all the more to meditate on how much I anticipate the Lord’s return. I was reading Jesus’ last words to the disciples before his crucifixion in John a couple days before Clara’s birth:

“When a woman is giving birth, she has sorrow because her hour has come, but when she has delivered the baby, she no longer remembers the anguish, for joy that a human being has been born into the world. 22 So also you have sorrow now, but I will see you again, and your hearts will rejoice, and no one will take your joy from you” John 16:21-22

Immediately after Clara’s arrival, Kimberly was a new person. She was in the moment anymore where the anguish was all she could feel. The joy that Clara had come into the world surpassed the anguish she felt.

             

All of this has brought about an incredible sense of responsibility and over the days since her birth the reality of my own limitations. How desperately I need the same Spirit that filled and empowered Kimberly to moment-by-moment fill me to love the Lord, love Kimberly, and love Clara. I’m honored and humbled by this calling.

Clara's Birth Story

This is a long post, but for those who are interested I wrote out Clara's birth story from my perspective. Hopefully we can get Vinnie's perspective written down soon. Enjoy!

Since finding out we were pregnant on March 1, 2013 I was really hoping we wouldn’t have a Halloween baby. Who would want to have to have a costume party every single birthday?? All we knew is the due date was October 25 and first babies usually come late. But, as time went on we started to not care when she came, we just wanted her to be here, in our arms. October 25 came and went. The next day came and it went. I started having minor contractions that got worse and worse each day. With every day that passed I couldn’t help my thoughts go from, “Maybe today is the day!!” to “This baby is going to be in my womb forever.”

So, here we are on October 31. Halloween. My contractions are becoming more regular and not going away like they had been the past few days. That day I had an appointment at the birthing center so off we went. We got to hear Baby Girl’s heartbeat for 30 minutes, it would accelerate every time she heard her Daddy’s voice-we knew she was going to be a Daddy’s girl from day one. The midwife did an exam on me and told me I’m dilated to almost a 3. She also said she saw some clear fluid so she tested it to see if my bags of water were leaking. We left the birthing center thinking we still had a few more days until we would meet our baby. We felt discouraged, I felt uncomfortable, almost miserable.

As we were eating lunch after the appointment we get a call from the midwife on call that night saying, “Kimberly, after testing that fluid we found it was in fact amniotic fluid…your bags of water have broken. Now, we have 24-36 hours to get you into active labor.” I hung up the phone, looked at Vinnie with a smile and said, “This is it, it’s really happening today.”

As Halloween went on, so did my contractions. I rode each contraction like it was a wave, it started in my back, wrapped around to the front, and throbbed for 45 seconds. Then, I waited for the next wave to crash. I walked around the house, baked some frozen cookie dough, got on the exercise ball, and sat on the couch…nothing was relieving the pain, it was growing more and more intense. At about 6pm we hear a knock at the door, “TRICK OR TREAT!” We ignored the sweet kids and quickly turned off the porch lights. We called our doula (birth assistant), Ashre and told her she should come over.

At this point all I could think is, “This is it. We’re meeting our baby today. On Halloween. We could have a Halloween baby after all.”

I lost all sense of time, I was so focused on riding each wave. At one point our midwife called to check in and see how things were progressing. By that point I was in a lot of pain but could still listen and talk coherently. Vinnie hands me the phone and I hear the midwife say, “Well, how are things?” I start my sentence….”Oh, it’s definitely progressing but I’m still able to ta….” OW! This is the biggest contraction yet! I hand the phone back to Vinnie midsentence so I can ride through this giant wave. From that point on things progressed quickly.

All I could focus on was the wave. As I topped the crest of the wave I had to force my mind to think about the fact that with each wave I’m getting closer to landing on shore and meeting our sweet daughter. I hear Vinnie and my doula tell me over and over, “You can do this. Do it for your daughter. You’re doing great.” My doula suggested I get up and try walking around to see how I feel. I get up and within taking 2 steps I almost collapse due to the pain. Then I knew, it was time. We needed to get to the birthing center. This baby is coming soon.

I hear some hustle and bustle from Vinnie as he packs the car with our “go-bag”. My doula slips some PJ pants and socks on me and out the door we went. I don’t remember the car ride. I probably just had my eyes closed the whole time as I focused on the fact that we were meeting our daughter soon.

We get to the birthing center and the midwife met us at the door. She rushed me into the room and had me lay down. Five seconds later I hear, “Oh wow! You’re at a 9! This baby is coming soon!!” I was so relieved that all of this work, all of this swimming that felt like I was going against the tide wasn’t useless. My body was working so hard to get this baby out into the world.

I got in the bathtub because it was supposed to relieve the pain. As soon as I got in the water I started feeling the urge to push. No one told me to push, my body just desperately wanted to push. The midwife said, “You want to push? OK! PUSH!!” It was an amazing feeling to finally not try to just go with the wave but really ride it. I was able to swim with the wave through pushing.

As our daughter started descending I hear the midwife say, “Look, Dad! You can see her head! Her hair is black!” Then I hear Vinnie with a choked up voice say, “I see her, baby! I see our daughter! Her hair is black!!”

The midwife added, “Well, well…your water hadn’t broken after all! She’s still in her bags of water. We need to break your water so that she can come out.” All I asked was, “Will it make this go by faster?” After getting a “yes” I agreed and my water was broken.

That was all the motivation I needed. I needed to see this girl for myself. The next contraction came and I determined in my mind that this was it. With this wave we will land and I will meet our daughter. I sit up in the tub and push, push, push. The room erupted with yells, “PUSH! COME ON! PUSH! GIVE ME MORE! YOU CAN DO THIS!!!” With one push I felt her head crown. With the next push she came out, the midwife grabbed her and brought her right to my chest.

I looked down and there she was. Our daughter. She looked up at me, made eye contact, laid her head on my chest and started to cry. It was the sweetest sound in the world. I looked at Vinnie and saw the amazement, shock, excitement, and pure joy in his eyes. Our daughter, Clara Joy was born into the world at 1:25am on November 1, 2013.

Transition

"Transition" (noun): passage from one state, stage, subject, or place to another. (Definition from Webster's Dictionary). That sounds about right.

Vinnie and I have been in 'transition', passing from one state to another, for what sees like forever. Reality is, we've been in this state since we got married. We went from single-hood to married-life, from living with 4 girls (and Vinnie with 2 guys) to living with someone from the opposite sex, from working different jobs to full-time support-raising together, from holidays spent alone to visiting two families in a 48-hour span, and most recently...going from raising support to being on campus and moving from a one bedroom apartment to a house!

Taken by our friend, Lindsey

I'm sure there are many more states and stages we've passed through, but those are the highlights. I won't even begin to tell you our though-processes and emotions that have been involved in all of this. I will tell you that the Lord has brought us through it and will continue to do so. I have learned more about His grace and love for us through this time than I ever before. It's hard sometimes, but so sweet and rich most of the time. Not only do I get to be married to a wonderful, God-fearing man but I also get to walk on two different campuses each week and share the Gospel with students that have never heard anything like it before. It's such a blessing to be entrusted with so much.

And, our house. It's so different from apartment-life/living with 3 other girls that are much more responsible than me! Even this house is a blessing from the Lord and our prayer is that we can steward it well to the glory of God.

The new house!

Please pray with us that the Lord will continue to bring Himself glory through our daily lives. Vinnie and I have been entrusted with much and we seek to be faithful with what He's given us (Matt 25:14-30). How can I be praying for you? How do you handle times where you feel like you're constantly in transition?

And we're back again

Home sweet home. It's been a busy, interesting, and fun few weeks! Vinnie and I have had the opportunity to travel the country (not literally, just 3 states)!

As you know from the last post, we got to spend some time in Colorado last month. We got some sweet time with friends that are also on staff with Cru. This was a refreshing and reviving time to be with the Lord, learn from great speakers, and worship.

THREE DAYS after we drove back from Colorado, we were packed up again and headed out to LAX airport. Vinnie and I have some dear friends that live in Hermosa Beach so we spent a few days there. Another treat was being able to see one of my best friends, Rachelle. She lived in S. Korea for 1 year, teaching, and had a layover in L.A. the same time we were there! We got some good, quality time with her as well!
Vinnie and me with the Kaufmanns (the couple we stayed with in Hermosa Beach)

Then, we went from LA to Minnesota to see my parents. This was a really special time to catch up and see, for the first time, where they are living! I must say, it is beautiful (what isn't beautiful compared to 100+ degree temps in TX??). I was really surprised at how much there is to do there. We went to the Mall of America, kayaking, played bocce ball (SO FUN! I wish we had it more around here), and ate more than you would want to know. The best part was spending time with the whole family, talking, laughing, and playing a rather intense game of Cranium. I love my family and am so incredibly blessed by them. The Lord has used each person in such unique ways to teach me more about His character and love for Him. I (we) can't wait to go back up there and see what it's like in the winter! I hope my Texas blood can handle -0 degrees!!
Vinnie and me with the parents at 1 of the 10,000 lakes in MN
Us at the Twins vs. Red Sox game

The whole family eating after a game of bocce ball :)

Next week, our staff team will be planning how we will strategically reach ethnic students in the DFW area with the Good News of Christ. Please be praying that the Lord gives each of us wisdom, discernment, and a listening ear as we plan. Vinnie and I love each of you and are so thankful for you. We can't wait to see what's He has in store for us.

Until next time...

Revamp

After praying and thinking, I've decided to revamp this blog. I've enjoyed writing (more so rambling) my thoughts for you to read, but I think it would be better and more glorifying to the Lord (which is really the goal in all of this) to make this blog more about our ministry and what's going on in our lives.

So, this is the beginning of a new blog. Same writer, same family, different information.

Vinnie and I just got back from a 10-day conference in Ft. Collins, Colorado. There were 5,000 other people that work with Campus Crusade for Christ that we got to fellowship and worship with during our time there. It was so rich and such a blessing to be surrounded by a group of like-minded servants of the Lord. Our time there consisted of living in a dorm, eating in the cafeteria, going to main sessions with amazing, godly speakers, attending seminars that were more focused on different topics that peak our interest, hanging out with friends, and walking around the beautiful, quaint town of Ft. Collins.

We also got to spend time with our region and people from around the nation that serve with Epic (the Asian-American student ministry) and Destino (the Latin-American student ministry) around the nation. This time was really sweet because we got to hear what God is doing around the nation to bring these students to Christ and mobilize them to reach their community with the Gospel.

The Casanovas with the Eatons (our good friends from New Staff Training)


You may be interested to know some VERY big news regarding the name of our organization....in the U.S. the name Campus Crusade for Christ will now be "Cru"!

We decided to change our name to be more effective in reaching people for Christ. We are in no way ashamed of the Gospel, we are doing everything we can to be more effective in telling people the Good News of Christ. As we considered hundreds of name possibilities, our experience confirmed that Cru would provide greater opportunity to connect men and women with the heart of Jesus, and to help them consider the good news of the gospel.

*Note: Much of this information is found on the website www.ccci.org/cru. Please feel free to peruse that site as much as you can!

On another note, Vinnie and I are about to embark on a journey to L.A. and Minnesota to visit V's friends and my family. Please be praying that we are able to rest well and grow in our relationship with the Lord during this time. As soon as we get back, we will be attending staff planning meetings and getting ready to report to campus! We are so excited to get back on campuses to reach students for Christ!

Please know you are loved and prayed for. Please leave me a comment telling me how you're doing and ways we can be lifting you up. Until next time!

New chapter, same Hope

Today is (was) the Day

Well, for those of you that don't really know many details, let me enlighten you. My Momma and Daddy moved to Eden Prairie, Minnesota today. They had to leave for my Dad's job and they should be there about 5-6 years. As most of you know, I'm a major Mommy AND Daddy's girl. My Mom is one of my best friends and my Dad is my hero. I love them so much and will miss them so much. This is the first time ever that they've been more than a 3-hour drive from me (and 3 hours away only lasted 6 months). You probably also know that I love to write, hence why I'm writing this to go ahead and start processing through all that's happening.

Did you ever do the "name poem" (technical name that I had to Google is 'acrostic')? I used to love doing them when I was little. I was the corny little sister that made these poems for my brother like:

Classy
Hilarious
Responsible
Intelligent
Social

*note, that is a real poem I made on a card for him that he recently found*

In honor of loving and missing my parents, I thought I'd make one for each of them...

Strong and dignified
Tender-hearted
Example of a great wife and mother
Pleasing to the Lord
Honest about anything :)
A follower and lover of Jesus
Not too far away! (only 2 1/2 hours) :)
In love with her husband
Elect, predestined, called according to the purpose of His plan (Rom 8:28-30)

Loving and gracious

Open and excited to share his faith

Understanding and compassionate

In love with his wife

Steadfast and dependent on Christ

So, you can see why I am head-over-heels for my Momma and Daddy. The Lord has truly blessed me with such great examples in how they walk with Christ and are so gracious. I love them so much and am excited to see how the Lord uses these attributes and gifts in them to reach the new city around them. Minnesota won't even know what hit 'em!

I love you guys so much!!!